Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? Are you in a toxic relationship? Do you have a relationship that you think may be toxic, but you’re not sure?

Unfortunately, throughout my younger years I had been in lots of toxic relationships.

But, I also truly believe that when you have unhealed traumas related to essential relationships, like family members, it can be challenging to tell the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship.

In fact, most of what I observed were unhealthy relationships in my own family, and how that developed into my own unhealthy relationships with them and others. 

I also feel that as an empath it can be excruciatingly difficult to set boundaries and feel confident about communicating your feelings and thoughts if you grew up observing these patterns. 

Enhance these emotions with unhealed inner child trauma with shadow wounds, and you’ve got a recipe for an empath who is:

• disempowered
• undervalued
• resentful
• anxious 
• exhausted
• unworthy
• guilt ridden 
• fearful
• undeveloped

Now take a moment to consider the vibration of these emotions and the kinds of thoughts and inner dialogue that is attached to it.

How do you think this impacts the other areas of your life?

Your career & how much you earn, other relationships, your dreams & goals, your finances, etc...

It impacts everything, you're kidding yourself if you think it doesn't!

Really, the most crucial component is how this impacts the relationship you have with yourself.

Do you really think that if you are allowing yourself to participate in a toxic relationship filled with unhealthy behavior, that you are truly valuing yourself as a high vibration human being?

Do you feel like a high vibe human when you think of this relationship?

Maybe you’re not sure of what truly makes a relationship toxic.

So, here are symptoms of what happens when there is unhealthy patterns in a relationship:

• Codependency (relying on someone else for happiness)
• Guilt
• Possessiveness
• Control
• Resentment
• Gaslighting (narcissist)
• Dishonesty
• Negative financial patterns
• Neglecting yourself
• Lost friendships
• Walking on eggshells
• Abusive language
• Fearing vulnerability
• Feeling at ease when the other person is not around
• Always feeling responsible for the other person

There is a difference between toxic and abusive relationships, although they can appear very similar at times. Of course, abuse doesn’t always have to be physical, but while it can be emotionally & verbally abusive, the abusive relationship itself is based on power over one person and the need to control their thoughts and actions. 

While you may find ways to heal and empower a dysfunctional relationship, the same is likely impossible for the escalating negative behavior in abusive relationships.

I have worked many years to understand my own role in toxic relationships. I truly believe that you cannot find balance within yourself if you are either blaming the other person, or feeling that you are completely responsible for what’s happening.

First, try to accept the current situation as it is. Stay in the present moment, not in the past and not in the future. I say this because I find that people stay in relationships because of how they began and what they aspire to in the future.

Being in a relationship for a long time does not validate a relationship, whether it’s a childhood friend, parent or family member, first love, or experiencing life changing events while in the relationship.

Pay attention: You are either in a supportive, loving, and respectful relationship OR no relationship - there isn’t a third option.

Most of the time the parties that are contributing to the toxic relationship are constantly projecting their shadows and inner child wounds onto each other. It is strongly advised that both parties participate in their own inner child & shadow work.

This will help you understand yourself and each other, rather than go straight to blame. It’s crucial to practice mindful accountability and patience throughout the healing process.

This is work to focus on individually and then with one another.

It’s not helpful to dwell on the past and stack undesirable experiences to use as an arsenal against the other person. 

Hold yourself and the other person responsible for words and actions as they occur, but maintain presence, and try to hold each other with compassion to develop healthy communication skills. 

If you feel that the relationship is worth learning new ways of understanding, coping, and growing, then you must begin with yourself. 

You're not rescuing anyone, empath! 

I have found that when dealing with narcissistic behavioral patterns, there is gaslighting and denial of their contribution to unhealthy relationship patterns. You may notice this happening when trying to get the other person to take accountability for their share. They cannot if they are narcissistic. 

As always, begin with you. As you begin your own healing journey, you will develop such powerful insight to your wounds. This will begin to highlight the patterns of others and empower you to change your side of the relationship by developing confidence, strength, intuition, self trust, and boundaries.

With these tools you will be an ever evolving person, stepping into your higher self, and as your vibrations shift, so do your relationships in their own organic way.

Those who align with your frequency will remain alongside your journey, contributing light to it. And those who wish to remain in fear, negatively projected emotions, doubt, and ignorance will do just that.

They have a magical way of simply slipping out of the big picture, because they won’t be able to keep up with your increased vibrations.

You are now on the wavelength of manifesting, abundance, and inspired action. The Universe responds much more favorably to this, and the proof of that will undoubtedly reveal itself.

If you are in a toxic or abusive relationship, trust me you deserve so much more. You really do.

If you are ready to detangle yourself from a toxic relationship, and how they impact your life, I am here to teach you, help you heal, hold your hand, and set you up for success!

Click here to schedule a complimentary one-on-one consultation to learn more.

If you are in an abusive relationship, it is not too late to get the help that you need. If you feel unsafe and afraid, you are not alone. Call 1-800-799-7233 for immediate and anonymous assistance.